Guns in the US are involved in 5000 to 10000 murders per year, plus a lot of suicides. However, the Second Amendment is staunchly defended by a wide range of Americans, and the gun murders stand. Car crashes kill about 30000 per year, and nobody’s pushing for a radical end-to-end rethink of transport to save those lives. So we can establish clearly that merely killing quite a few people is not sufficient cause for action.
So let us consider what kind of a threat might require pervasive monitoring of ever human being who can be reached, 24 hours a day (do you have your phone with you?) including their communications, travel, spending, health records, employment activities and everything else?
The answer seems obvious: Vampires!
Let us examine this from a different side. Let us consider America’s long struggle with The Vampire Threat
No less a creative power than Tim Burton produced Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. You don’t really want to watch the trailer for the film, but it’s worth three minutes of your life. Bear with me.
About mid-way through, the Vampires reveal their secret: slavery is how vampires breed humans to feed on, and they’ve been at it since Egypt if not before. At which point, a relatively silly film jackhammers its way into a certain kind of Twilight Zone Episode greatness.
Now, if this was really going on, I think the NSA’s current stance – to identify every single vampire feeding on Ordinary Americans by discovering who is being fed on, by narrowing down the vampire’s hiding places, and by sending out SWAT teams to impale every single one of these blood sucking leeches, down to the last one, is entirely rational, commensurate with the severity of the situation, and what’s more, Just.
But if it is not vampires, then what the hell is it? If the effort being made would be commensurate with an invasion of undead horrors, and we don’t likely have an invasion of undead horrors, what’s all the struggle about? Surely all of this isn’t being done to blow up a couple of thousand Muslim fundamentalists with a fetish for blowing things up? In 12 years they’ve killed around 3000 people in the US, roughly 1% of the number of Americans who have died in car crashes during the same period. No rational organization would spread so much blood and treasure on the sand for such a loss… no, it must be something more. It must be a Vampire-scale threat… or they have lost their minds!
The only credible explanation I can see for a rational, reasonable NSA is this: they’re scared shitless of something huge. It’s either something we know about and under-estimate (terrorism using biological weapons would be my best guess) or it’s something out in Gordon White territory: aliens, ancient astronauts, Neanderthal clades, Cthulhu cults, or similar. I have a feeling if it was the latter, we might well have seen traces, the occasional improperly covered up Bigfoot sighting, or a Dr. Who-esque UFO landing from time to time.
Because if it’s not Vampires, we have a much worse problem: Fascists. And we know the harm they could do: 22 million dead from the German outbreak, and their close neighbours in Russia offed 70 million, and China another 50 million. Around 250 million people died in death camps and similar “democides” in the 20th century, and if we are being asked to accept an American Fascism on account of 3000 people killed by terrorism? By the numbers, terrorism is roughly a hundred thousand times less dangerous than political authoritarianism.
If the price of cars is 30000 lives a year, and the price of guns is 10000 or more, by god, if the objective is to save lives, start there. Or with tobacco. But, by god, if we’re willing to sacrifice our basic freedoms for 3000 dead in 12 years, we have truly lost our freaking minds.
If the NSA is to be believed, they are protecting us from something far, far more terrible than they are. And, at that point, it’s Vampires or nothing.
Which is it?
— thomas_lord (@thomas_lord) July 11, 2013